Being thrust into a new environment with a bunch of new people from different backgrounds has had its challenges. We have a bunch of varying biblical beliefs and world views. So naturally, everyone responds to sermons, teachings, prayers, and worship differently.
For those of you know really know me, you should know that I’m typically big on worship. I mean yeah I’ll play the piano and sing, but if I’m in an environment where I feel like I won’t be judged or looked at in a funny way. I‘ll belt, I’ll dance, I’ll laugh, I’ll pray out loud, and I won’t have much regard for the people around me. I think of it like getting tunnel vision and only being able to see God.
Well, I’m around quite a few people who aren’t used to the dancing and the belting, and I’ve learned that they actually find it intimidating. They have a harder time focusing and connecting with God because they see all these crazy people loosing all physical control during worship. When I had learned that, I instantly got embarrassed. Granted, I wasn’t going crazy, but I still took that burden upon myself.
I know it wasn’t their intention at all (they actually don’t know about this) but I felt I had to silence myself. Worship has always been important for me and I hate it when people feel disconnected. So I told myself that I could worship and not be moving / visually distracting.
Boy was I wrong. 2 worship sessions later, and I was back face first on the ground bawling my eyes out about how glorious and good God is. God told me, “Alyssa, how they worship is how they worship, and it has absolutely nothing to do with how you worship. Take what you have to offer me, and glorify me as best as you know how.“
At this point, I’m facedown, weeping in a puddle of my own tears when team starts singing the bridge to ”See You Right.” it was my first time ever hearing this song, and they start off in the part that God knew I needed to hear.
For those of you who don’t know what the song is, it goes…
“I might get a little messy tonight.
I might dance or I might cry.
I don’t care what I look like.
Oh I just want to see you right.
Fear of man will leave tonight.
I’m letting go of all my pride.
I’ll love you undignified.“
I’ll love you undignified. Those words have been my personal anthem. I love God undignified. Without dignity. Without pride. Without fear. I’m learning how to make it a lifestyle for me. I’ll live my life for God. In everything I do, I want just want to love God shamelessly.
