All or All

Coming from Guatemala to Romania it was difficult not to slip into the mindset of, “If I’m just going to leave, then I won’t get attached the way I did with everyone in Guatemala. Because leaving all of them was painful and I don’t feel like doing that again.” Mind you, when I say that it was a difficult mindset to resist, I did in fact slip into it. Especially when we were told that our entire ministry would be based around building relationships with the youth in the area and connecting to them so they can learn the reality of the gospel.

One can only imagine how quickly that mental agreement with myself went so far downhill so fast. After a few poor attempts at evangelism and canceled one on ones, I found a group of people that I got really attached to really fast. I could no longer remain cold hearted in the presence of such warm and loving people. Instead I had to go to the Lord and ask the question of, “God how do I give these people my all when I am just going to leave them?”

The answer I received is quite simple. “They are going to receive absolutely nothing from you other than superficial fast fading attention if you don’t give them your absolute all.”

If I refrain from getting too attached then the only impression that will remain once I’m gone is that of a short lived fever dream.

All means all. My time, my attention, my intentionality. Praying for them in my quiet time, preparing bible studies, messaging them through the night, spending hours just listening to them talk, and finally not letting these bonds die once I’m gone.

You see, the key to me being able to survive getting attached to people knowing that I may NEVER see them again, is knowing that while I could I gave them everything.

If I haven’t given them my all,then I’ve given them nothing.

It’s all or all. This is ministry.